Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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