So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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