I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
