I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
