Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
