OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
