come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
