it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
