that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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