Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
