Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
