Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
