My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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