Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
