I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
