We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
