Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was like eating out sand paper
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
