i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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