We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
