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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
