Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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