so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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