my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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