Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize