i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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