jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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