You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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