is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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