Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is my gift to your gina
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
