I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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