Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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