Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
