Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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