How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
