Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Holy sore nipples Batman
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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