At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
