I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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