Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
