Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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