Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
