Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
