Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
