True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
