Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
