I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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