Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
