I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
