im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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