So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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