so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
