just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
