He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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